viernes, 11 de diciembre de 2009

Un post sobre la felicidad, el encuentro de las paralelas en el infinito y aquello que usted más desea saber


He escuchado que algunos malpensados, aprovechando la baja en la productividad del presente blog en las últimas semanas, han dicho que a mí no se me cae una idea. Pues bien, sepan que tenía guardada una idea excelente, sublime, incomparable y magnánima....pero se me cayó.

Quedé así nuevamente en foja cero, y además con la alfombra llena de pedacitos de idea. Pues bien, es mejor que lo sepa de una vez: este post no es sobre la felicidad, el encuentro de las paralelas en el infinito y aquello que usted más desea saber (o si lo es será una sorprendente coincidencia) sino sobre lo que yo tenía más a mano. Sí, sí, era mentira. Pero no haga tanta alharaca, porque justamente eso es lo que nos proponemos tratar: sobre la mentira.

Ante todo desmitificar aquello de que la mentira tiene patas cortas. ¿Qué se quiere decir cuando se dice que tiene patas cortas? ¿que las mentiras no llegan lejos? Sepan que las personas de patas cortas pueden llegar lejos, lejísimos si quieren. Quizás tarden más, pero llegar llegan. En todo caso sería mejor decir: "la mentira tiene mal estado físico y no tiene ni la plata ni la belleza para que la lleven lejos". Entonces se entendería perfectamente la imagen. Por otro lado ¿es verdad que no llega lejos? Bernard Madoff llegó bastante lejos, por lo menos localmente. Es más, la gente que lo repudia le dice: "Bernie, esta vez fuiste demasiado lejos". Si lo que quieren decir es que su andar es moralmente torpe y no está a la altura de lo esperado bien podrían usar otra imagen. Como que tiene patas cortas, por ejemplo.

Que mentimos diariamente es algo que voy a dar por supuesto. "Lo tenía listo pero la computadora lo borró"; "tengo veintipico"; "te queda fantástico"; "estoy totalmente de acuerdo"; "lo primero que miro son los ojos"; "no tengo idea de lo que me estás hablando"; "¡qué post tan ocurrente! De lo más original que he leído últimamente. Que digo últimamente, ¡en siglos!". En fin, el hecho es que ocultamos, negamos o vejamos sistemáticamente a la verdad en forma cotidiana. El tema es el por qué. ¿Qué nos lleva a mentir? Como suele suceder, considero tener la respuesta final a este problema.

a) La comodidad: la verdad no siempre es dolorosa, pero a veces es demasiado larga. Por eso, si una mentira es el atajo hacia el fin o la agilización de la conversación, bienvenida sea.

Pregunta: - ¿Te pusieron Josefa por tu madre?

Respuesta verdadera: - No, mi madre se llama Carlota. Me pusieron Josefa porque mi viejo era fanático de Racing y dijo que si conseguían el tercer campeonato y tenía un hijo le iba a poner "José" en honor a Juan José Pizzuti, el técnico de aquél conocido "equipo de José" de la década del 60. La cosa es que nací yo y -para no violar su promesa- me puso Josefa, aunque a mi mamá le dijo que era por una tía lejana suya que lo había cuidado cuando era chico.

---------------

Mentira: - Sí.

Creo que no pude haber sido más claro. Después de todo ¿en qué afecta al otro ese dato? Eso sí, esto último es un punto importante, pues existen casos donde la simplificación podría no ser el bien mayor.

Pregunta 2: - ¿Es seguro nadar en esta playa?

Respuesta verdadera 2: - Depende. Eventualmente puede haber algún que otro tiburón, pero en general no vienen tanto porque los desechos tóxicos de la fábrica que está allí los irrita y se ponen extremadamente violentos. Así que con un traje de amianto y un arpón debería estar bien. Eso sí, si no esta nublado, mire que si no es una fija que le caiga un rayo. Pero bueno, el amianto quizás lo ayude. Eso sí, tenga cuidado con las carreras de jet sky que suelen hacer grupos de adolescentes cerca de la orilla.

---------------

Mentira 2: - Sí.

b) La integridad física: hay casos donde la verdad puede deparar una sesión de violencia física evitable. En ese caso, parece ser recomendable evitar la verdad en toda su pureza. De nuevo, no es que la realidad duela, lo que duele son los golpes del receptor de esa verdad.

Pregunta 3: - ¿Cómo me veo?

Respuesta verdadera 3: - Un poquito ridícula. No sé si es la mala combinación de colores chillones, la vincha noventosa o el hecho de que ese corte te marque un poquito el rollo de la cintura. Y tenés un olor raro. Sé que no me lo preguntaste, pero hace a la apreciación general.

Respuesta a la respuesta verdadera 3: - ¿ah, sí? (patada a los testículos)

---------------

Mentira 3: - Muy bien. Me parece original.

Respuesta a la mentira 3: - ¡ay, gracias! Sos un divino.

No quiero parecer resultadista, pero no me va a negar que logra apreciar ciertas ventajas en el segundo escenario. Además, esta dinámica podría profundizarse.

Pregunta 4: - ¿De quién es esta pelota que acaba de impactar en mi cara mientras tomaba sol para recuperarme de mi trabajo como guardaespaldas profesional?

Respuesta verdadera 4: - Mía. El tema es que he estado practicando mi drive y me entusiasmé un poco. Pero la verdad es que sólo un boludo se pone a tomar sol justo en esta parte de la playa.

(Crash. Boom. Splat. Kapaum)

---------------

Mentira 4: - Creo que de un alemán que pasó para allá. Para que sepas, en alemán "mía" se dice "Nein".

Respuesta a mentira 4: - Ugh.

c) La honra: a veces lo que queremos evitar es, simplemente, quedar mal. Y a ese fin somos capaces de contorsionar nuestros principios hasta lo indecible. Vamos a un caso polémico:

Pregunta 5: - ¿Qué opinás de Andy Warhol?

Respuesta verdadera 5: - Es un ladrón de gallinas. ¡Por Dios, gente, es una lata de sopa de tomates!

Respuesta a la respuesta 5: - Sos un cavernícola.

---------------

Mentira 5: - Un revolucionario. Un tipo con visión.

Respuesta a Mentira 5: - ¿Vamos a comer canapés mientras vemos una instalación?

Ya sea por no quedar mal, por no quedar malherido o por no hacer un mínimo esfuerzo mental, la cosa es que hemos relativizado aquello de que mentir está mal. Y quiero que quede claro que con esto no quiero justificar su accionar diario sino sólo poner en perspectiva algunas decisiones sobre lo que uno dice.

Aún así sigo pensando en que tendría que haberle dicho algo a su mujer sobre el hecho de que se ganó la lotería.

52 comentarios:

Bugman dijo...

¡Qué interesante todo lo que usted escribe!

Viejex dijo...

Da para una segunda parte este artículo. Creo que hay mas motivadores: la ventaja de la calumnia(le va a dar la titularidad a Juarez? que generoso es usted, entrenador, darle otra oportunidad a pesar de sus problemas con las drogas. Ud em emociona", la pura maldad " la calle Evaristo Rundez? siga por esta avenida 30 o 35 cuadras, más o menos hasta el 4 semáforo y doble a la izquierda 3 cuadras. Rodee la plaza hasta "El surubí", doble a la derecha por "La vieja del agua" y 2 cuadras después ahí está Rundez. No puede perderse! Se va a dar cuenta porque en la esquina va a ver una farmacia sindical enorme del YTMP(*)"

(*)YTMP: Yo también me perdí.

Anavril dijo...

Hay Edmuncio, sos el segundo!!!!

Le juro que evita muchiiiiisimas explicaciones.

Shimmy1977 dijo...
Este comentario ha sido eliminado por el autor.
Shimmy1977 dijo...

Ocultar la verdad también es mentir?
Este post es de lo mejor que he leído en siglos!!
Bueno, no en siglos, porque apenas tengo veintipico, pero si ultimamente...

Mariano dijo...

¡Pero por favor! Un post sobre la felicidad, el encuentro de las paralelas en el infinito y aquello que usted más desea saber que encima incluye gente de patas cortas y una referencia a la gloriosa Academia Racing Club.

¡Este blog es de lo mejor que he leído en siglos!

Yoni Bigud dijo...

Usted está a la vanguardia del análisis científico del comportamiento humano. No cabe ninguna duda.

La mentira y la no declaración de los verdaderos pensamientos son herramientas cotidianas para cualquier ser humano que se precie.

Este blog está buenísimo.

Un saludo.

Pablo dijo...

Bugman, no me diga nada. De lo mejor que ha leído en siglos.

Viejex, coincido. Pero le recuerdo que no hay un espíritu justificativo de personas, bueno como usted. La iniquidad le sale por los poros.

Anavril, a menos que Edmuncio lea este blog. Ahí se tendría que gastar lo que tiene ahorrado en explicaciones. Veo que es de las cómodas.

Shimmy1977, usted puede estar seguro que ni en el siglo XII ni en el XVIII leyeron un blog como este. No se achique.

Mariano, y eso que no puse la foto con el título "culo" que tenía guardada (aunque la foto propiamente es de un vajillero inglés)

Yoni, empiezo a dudar de las afirmaciones sobre este blog. Al parecer todos los que suscriben a lo expuesto lo hacen por alguna suerte de necesidad. Pero como usted es un amigo y mi ego es un poco frágil, dejaré pasar sus afirmaciones.

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Es usted, Pablo, un revolucionario, un tipo con visión, al cual jamás le mentiría.
Y si lo hiciera nunca se enteraría porque a mis mentiras les compré un autito, para que lleguen bien lejos.

Pablo dijo...

La Rubia, espero que sus mentiras tengan presupuesto porque entre nafta y peaje en una semana me entero de todo.

Por su nueva locación asumo que les compró un VW (gracias por seguir pasando)

LeO dijo...

La verdad es que las mentiras tienen patas desproporcionadamente dispares en cuanto a su largo y ancho y por eso no pueden llegar lejos.

Para evitar herir ciertas sensibilidades, se recurrió a la mentira, como era de esperar.

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If you happen to be a single guy and aren't the best at finding a lot much less meeting girls and are questioning where you can head to discover and connect with a female, then these ten acceptable hints on how to satisfy a woman in the shopping mall, might appear in mighty handy.

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Bingo rules are basically the same no matter in which Online Bingo hall you play. But still it's good if you know these rules by heart. If it is your first try, then ask for handouts and inquire from pros regarding the game rules. Nonetheless, the ideal thing to do if you have questions is to ask the floor walker and not the person seated beside you. You should clarify things and doubts before the game starts because asking too many questions as the game proceeds could well distract you. This guideline also applies to those who are newcomers at casinos, those who play roulette for the first time.

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